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Tax-exempt? | Surrendered Child A Birth Mother's Journey The year was 1973, a time of social upheaval, even in small-town Kentucky, where McElmurray grew up. More than a story of time and place, however, this is about a girl who, at the age of sixteen, relinquished her son at birth. Twenty-five years would pass before McElmurray began sharing this part of her past with others and actively looking for her son. McElmurray's own troubled upbringing and her quest after a now-fully-grown son are the heart of her story. With unflinching honesty, McElmurray recounts both the painful surrendering and the surprise rediscovery of her son, juxtaposed with her portrayal of her own mother, who could not provide the love she needed. The dramatic result is a story of birthright lost and found-and an exploration of the meaning of motherhood itself. Karen Salyer McElmurray is an assistant professor in the creative writing program at Georgia College and State University. She is also the author of Strange Birds in the Tree of Heaven (Georgia) and has published essays and stories in numerous magazines and journals. McElmurray has received dozens of honors, including a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship, the Sherwood Anderson Award, and the James Purdy Prize for Fiction. October 2004 ISBN 082032681X cloth • $29.95 272 pp. • 5 3/8 x 8 1/4 in. • 22 b&w photosA volume in the seriesAssociation of Writers and Writing Programs Award for Creative Nonfiction "This is a very moving and pungent narrative, which quickly engages the reader's imagination, as its gorgeously remembered details spill onto the page, not necessarily in chronological order but by patchwork design and as if on their own." —Sheri Reynolds, The Rapture of Canaan"Riveting and disturbing, McElmurray's poetic language and utter honesty lift this story into the realm of grace-finally, this dark memoir is an enlightening and redemptive work of art." —Lee Smith"Courageous in its honesty, stunning in its vision. McElmurray is a writer of enormous talent who explores the consequences of loss and grace and recovery in this hauntingly beautiful story of her life."-Gwyn Hyman Rubio, author of Icy Sparks "McElmurray transforms some of her life's more difficult experiences into pure poetry; where there once was pain, she creates beauty."-Rosemary Daniell, author of Fatal Flowers "Not only a deeply moving personal story that takes great courage to tell, but also a beautiful and haunting exploration of the nature and the meaning of motherhood and love. McElmurray's lyrical, incantatory voice casts a magic spell."-Janice Eidus, author of The Celibacy Club "In this fresh, painfully honest, but very wise and beautifully written book, Karen McElmurray tells us how deeply some decisions affect us, ever afterwards."-Reeve Lindburgh "Karen McElmurray presents her story with poetic clarity, stark honesty, and-above all-a resounding grace. I can't imagine a better memoir being published this year. It is heartbreaking not only because of its subject matter, but also because of its beauty."-Silas House, author of Clay's Quilt and The Cool of the Day "With astonishing candor and courage, McElmurray parts the curtains of a birth mother's often secret struggles with pain, guilt, and unending loss, and, with the vision of a poet, leads us on an unforgettable journey of awakening, forgiveness, and love. This powerful memoir is a work of stunningly intimate confession transformed into lyrical brilliance, and, perhaps more importantly, gives her son-and, in turn, all adoptees-a redemptive look at a birthright lost and found."-Jeanne Braselton, author of A False Sense of Well-Being "In a lyric and precise language, Karen McElmurray tells her story with unflinching honesty, insight, and compassion. She reveals not only her own past, but the darker side of youth in the 1970s. This book will be read by generations to come."-Chris Offutt, author of The Same River Twice "Karen McElmurray shows us how easy it is to allow ourselves to be swept along in choosing and how hard it is to live beyond the choices. When she was still a child, Karen chose to be a mother-chose motherhood-and this is a book about living beyond that choice. McElmurray's persuasive accounting makes crystal clear the powerlessness of having a piece of ourselves in the world over which we have no control. The longing and regret, the despair and hope in these pages will stay with me a long, long time."-Linda Scott DeRosier, author of Songs of Life and Grace "Those who want to believe in the illusions of fresh beginnings and 'closure' on the past may have to think again after reading McElmurray's gripping memoir."-Susan Bordo, author of The Male Body "This book is a wonderful place to come to understand what choice might mean in adoption, what the effects are on the mother who loses her child even when this is a choice, and how a woman's gifts and strengths can build a life despite the terrible loss of her child. Ultimately, it is a hopeful book, and one that many involved in adoption would learn much from reading."-Sandra Falconer Pace, Concerned United Birthparents "Surrendered Child is the brave story of a woman who suffered the tragic loss of her son to adoption. Karen McElmurray bares her heart and soul as she describes the painful ordeal of losing her child and her life's journey that led her on a path of self discovery and reunification. From the moment of the interruption of the sacred relationship with her child to the moment of reunion, the book is captivating. I was spellbound."-Joe Soll, author of Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery and Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery for Mothers Who Lost Children and Director of Adoption Crossroads"Sometimes the most frightening and important journeys take us where we've already been. In this book, tentative steps lead to memory, unrelinquished sorrow, and ultimately to hope. . Through honest storytelling and striking detail, she refines her dark, painful memories until there is light."-Taylor Bruce, Southern Living "[A] haunting and evocative memoir. . This is so much more than a childhood memoir. McElmurray has composed a moving meditation on loss and memory and the rendering of truth and story. . How McElmurray articulates these painful and secret thoughts surrounding a birth mother's silent journey, her attempt to make sense of what she experienced, makes this book special."-Robin Michaelson, Atlanta Journal-Constitution "That McElmurray made it out of her trailer-park marriage, out of secretarial and fast food jobs, through college and on to teaching creative writing courses is admirable. That she reached the self awareness to birth this remarkable memoir is a gift both to her son and to readers."-Publishers Weekly "Unflinchingly honest . Surrendered Child is about forgiveness-forgiving parents for their failures and forgiving one's self-and what it means to be a mother."-Pam Kingsbury, Southern Scribe "Surrendered Child is not, mercifully, a documentary account of a heartbroken mother's search for her lost child; McElmurray deeply mourns the loss of her son, but her narrative is remarkably free of regret or recrimination against herself or anyone else. Instead, she casts a sharp, analytical eye on her own choice. The book is a meditation in the most literal sense. It trains a laser-like focus on mundane details and fleeting exchanges in order to illuminate big mysteries that defeat direct examination. . The word that kept coming to mind as I read Surrendered Child was Ahamkara-the Hindu concept of personal will that creates all suffering, yet which also compels us to survive by any means necessary. McElmurray's decision to relinquish her son was a willful act which seemed in some way intended to free her from the hold of her own mother's warped will. It was an extraordinary act of self-assertion that made possible her life as a writer and teacher, but it created a wound that even the recovery of her now-grown son cannot fully heal. It's a testament to McElmurray's talent that she can send her readers' minds wandering across cultures and musing such paradoxes while keeping her story firmly planted in the bitter ground of Kentucky coal country."-Maria Browning, Nashville Scene "By forcing readers to be aware of [her writing] craft, she introduces uncertainty in them; they are forced to engage intellectually and fight their own yearnings for a single version they can depend on. . . . Perhaps it is the intensity of her need to see, coupled with her refusal to lie, that becomes grace in the telling. Certainly there is a quality to the book-perhaps it is heartache-that will bring even a jaded reader to her knees."-Bonnie Blader, Rain Taxi "This book bears powerful testimony to the saving grace of imagination."-Lorraine Lopez, Tennessean |
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